Chapter 17 - Velothon Wales and cycling adventures

The next adventure - I think I may be a 

sadist.

Funny how things turn out.....last year I was a triathlon virgin but successfully completed 4 triathlon sprints and loved every minute of the journey. The swimming, the running and the cycling. Even the donning of wetsuit and doing open water swimming gave me some form of sadistic pleasure. I think the word is challenge. I've realised I like a challenge. I've learnt that about myself. I've learnt many things.

So this year I had 4 triathlons booked. Mmmm about that. Something has happened in the meantime.....quite a big thing....it took me by surprise.....it's love.....you see I've fallen in love..........with the cycling bit.  I had been warned.  But nothing quite beats it. And so I have found cycling events taking precedent over already booked triathlons. There are several factors that have lead to this distraction from triathlon and these are who I blame....

It's Grim Up North

I had done a 100mile ride in Loughborough and for all the pain and agony we endured at the end to me there was nothing like the sheer joy of completion. It was a great achievement. When I realised that I might actually be a bit of sadist was when one of my co-riders exclaimed "that's the worst thing I've ever done in my life I hated that".....Oh that's weird I got a kick out of it actually.  How odd.

So my cycling distances to date had been consistent with my triathlon cycling distance required of 20km and I was duly completing this distance around and around and around Richmond Park. Rather like my early running career on Twickenham Green, round and round and round.  But then once I had done the 100miler, I realised there were more KMs out there to be had.

Muchos Ciclismo

Over Easter I notched up the riding kms in Mallorca.  Riding in Mallorca is bliss and that hasn't helped with the falling in love bit either. There is something about climbing those mountains and coming down the other side which just makes you feel like shouting "Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!"  as you blast down the other side. Descending (technical cycling term for going down, not as humorous but sounds more professional - without the Frankie Howard Titter Ye Not implications) while others are ascending (going up) creates a smug pleasure as you see the pain etched on their faces. Because you've earned the downhill bit it's your right. And also you know that just around the corner it will be YOU once again who is coughing up your lungs on the next uppy bit.  

I think there is something about cycling that makes me feel like a kid again.  There is nothing like a bike ride with good friends, having your cake, eating it and burning those calories, getting from A to B.  Looking at the views. Enjoying the sunshine.  It's a great feeling. It makes you feel alive.

One Thing Just Leads to Another - Velothon Wales

So there I was quite happy with my 4 triathlons I had booked for 2015. Then Velothon Wales was mentioned.  I wasn't going to do it. No. I was busy I had 4 triathlons to do. Then my friend Amanda rang and persuaded me that I really wanted to do it.  Oh go on then. Such a pushover.  I then persuaded our friend Catherine that she really wanted to do it too. Even though she didn't actually have a bike at that stage.  And our friend Gareth was already doing it so there we were the 4 musketeers. We'd be fine. So it was going to be just fine......or was it ?

Training it's all about the training.

Actually in order to do 140km comfortably you need to do some training. Darn that training thing can be exhausting! Those weekly Velothon Wales updates on Facebook were also just striking fear and dread into me.  "1 Month to Go!" was supposed to be encouraging. But No actually they were scaring the shit out of me.  

And then everyone started going on about "The Tumble".  No not Mr Tumble that bubbly chubby chap from CBeebies.  Some sort of hill thing apparently.  OK so hills. Focus on the hills. Hell there are no hills in Richmond Park.  I needed a plan.  So I duly befriended the man at school who is regularly in the playground decked in Rapha Lycra. Ever hopeful that he would take me on a big bike ride and get me out of the non-hilly Richmond Park loop. His name is Matt.  "Yeah I can map out some rides for you" he said. Disappointing ...I was hoping he could ride lead.  It was only when he clocked my lovely Ridley Road Bike that he conceded I was deigned worthy enough to accompany him and his lovely wife Eva on a bike ride. And so the two of them have been wonderful in taking me around the Surrey Hills including Staple Hill, Leith Hill and Box Hill.  Lots of kms lots of hills. Great Fun. 

And then there was the distance training.  My boss Chris and I duly set off with 20 A4 pages of Google Maps and tried to rack up the kms around Windsor and back.  Not hilly.  Quite loopy. And there have been a few hairy moments where we've been heading towards the motorway!! Memorable moment in Windsor.  "Keep Left" he shouted. I went left "But you're going right" I shout. "Whatever !!" he replied - ride leading at it's inept best. About turn, against the flow of traffic. I then proceeded to follow his red jacket along the dual carraigeway at full pelt for 5km. Darn it why wasn't he stopping?  Because it wasn't him. Back along the dual carraigeway.  See I knew me and riding in a group never works. But we get up at 5.30am and more smugness as we ride back through Shepperton at 10am and every other bugger is just heading out on their bike ride.  Job Done. Bacon Sarnie time. Still got the whole day to rest on the sofa. Thank you Chris for your unique ride leading!

STRAVA is watching you.....

Before I was truly in love with the cycling my brother had once shown me STRAVA one Christams. I had been a committed fan of MapMyRide. But STRAVA was more Alpha male than MapMyRide. That's hilarious I said that looks to me like a lot of middle aged chest beating men bragging about all the KMs they've racked up trying to out do each other.  Yep that's exactly what it is.  We all give each other Kudos the STRAVA equivalent of a Facebook "Like" but a more hearty testosterone slap on the back. Like a "like" but much more macho. And now I too am sucked in.  Comparing speeds.  Trophy's.  Climbs. Just squeezing out 10 more km just to make it look worthwhile. Going right up to the end of the Cul-de-Sac twice (not a eupehenism) just to clock those kms. And so in the run up to Velothon Wales it became apparent who of the 4 Muskateers was putting in the miles and who seemed to have gone very quiet.  Then there were 2 musketeers. Because sometimes life just gets in the way of cycling. 

Better the Devil You Know or Ignorance is Bliss ? 

The Tumble smiling in the end.

By June I had done the distances. I'd done some hills.  I was Velothon fit.  But there was just one niggling thing.  No not the Chamois Cream, I had plenty of that.  This Tumble thing was now keeping me awake at night. Could it be that bad ? Then Amanda the remaining musketeer went to Wales and conquered it and I realised before Velothon I needed to know what I was letting myself in for.  And now a big debate....is it Better The Devil You Know ? or Ignorance is Bliss ? I needed to cycle The Tumble before Velothon.  Wish I bloody hadn't . I fucking hated it - excuse my french.  Head wobbling from side to side - it went on and on.  Scraggy sheep at the side mocking me with their bloody Welsh Baa Baaa'ing. By the end I wanted to rip off my sweaty socks and gloves, I hated them.  Not a good experience.  The advise given by my ride leader for the day was "You look like one of those dogs in the back of a car with the wobbling heads. Relax. Sit up, use your core. Embrace the hill. Enjoy the Hill". Mmmmmmm. We didn't do Caerphilly mountain that day as it was going to rain. Home for a spot of late afternoon tea instead. Lovely. There are some upsides to the training.

Velothon Wales - #taketheproroad

Never have I been so interested in what the weather was doing in Cardiff.  If it was going to rain this was going to be one carnage of a bike ride as 15000 cyclists descend a hill together.  One minute it said it would be raining the next just cloudy.  In the end I decided not to look I was only going to fret about my base layers.  The night before we had a pasta party in Cardiff arranged by the SunVelo team.  Yes the night before in Cardiff, well that was an eye opener. Never have I seen anything like it. My jaw was dropping. It turns out the most disturbing sight this weekend in Cardiff were NOT the Middle Aged Men in Lycra but the "women" of Cardiff and surrounding environs stuffed into their skimpy nylon outfits on a rainy Saturday night. Blimey scary stuff.  We all hastened back to the hotel to digest our carbs and avoid a fight. And that was just the girls.

Some Viz Characters

Didn't sleep much that night what with all the excitement and wide awake at 5am trying to force feed Porridge and Tesco All Day Breakfast sandwich down me. Very satisfying. Great way to start the day and made me last the 140k distance. 

Tasty Porridge - the best I've had ! 

Reassuring words from a newly acquainted fellow Sunvelo "Team" member just before we set off. As they surveyed my bike with bright pink tyres ...."Did you know research shows that coloured tyres are more likely to puncture than black ones?" thanks for that. I was nervous anyway. As it happens drawing pins are more likely to puncture your tyres aren't they David Harwood ?

Me and Amanda and some other people

We met the remaining Musketeer Amanda, a friendly face. Who for various reasons had nearly ensured it was only the 1 Musketeer but she made it on the day - phew. The rest of "Team" Sunvelo had obviously got the measure of Amanda and I from the Facebook Group already set up.  Various wise cracks from the two of us about cheese shops and waterproof mascara ensured that they sped away from us quite rapidly at the starting line.  Just the 2 Musketeers left then. Better crack on then as they say.

Job Done

What a fab day.  Riding on open roads is not to be underestimated the sheer joy of speeding down a hill and not having to slam the brakes on at the bottom because of a roundabout was very liberating.  Even the drawing pin incident was part of the excitement of the day. Not least because it meant that for Amanda and I for a brief moment we could overtake Sunvelo "Team" mate David Harwood as he mended his 3 drawing pin puncture. Small Victories.  He still whooped our arses. 

Strava is watching you

The weather held out.  I embraced the Tumble - I actually enjoyed it as my "coaches" words echoed in my head "Relax and Enjoy The Hill" I actually did.  Caerphily Mountain not so much though which came at 120k into the 140k ride. I tried to convince myself that the hilly dual carraigeway which everyone was climbing like ants might be what the Welsh considered a mountain.  Nope that wasn't it. Then we came across Caerphilly High Street a vertical high street of this nature I have not witnessed before. Maybe this was it ? Nope.  Around the corner. Oh that's it then.  By this point I was knackered and hot and bothered and in need of a drink. So I confess I did get off and drink my drink. But I did get back on and ride and then carried on to the end. What an absolutely fantastic day. Loved every bit of it. It was worth all the hard work. Boyo that was fab.




The next chapter.....

And now it seems that this 140k ride with all it's training is just a fraction of my next adventure. A  bit of training for the training. I love the training. I am about to do a Sportive tomorrow. Couldn't help myself because I need to be ready for my next adventure in 4 weeks - oh la la RoadTripParis. And Triathlon - well for now it'll just have to wait.