Chapter 22 - An unfortunate incident with a banana, Glasto and cycling

Summer 2016 these legs did me proud .....

I must confess I had signed up to 2 triathlons this year, and I attended neither.  Because other things came up, cycling things, and I'm avoiding that open water swim thing at all costs.  So instead this is what I got up to.....

1. Velothon Wales
2. Glastonbury 2016

3. Cycling in the Summer in Mallorca

4. My first Duathlon

1. Velothon Wales 2016

Having done this last year a couple of us decided to do this again. What's not to like? 140km of closed roads across beautiful Wales. Bliss ? It takes a lot of training, and I was determined Caerphilly mountain wasn't going to get the better of me this year.  I had done a training ride before the event which was possibly much worse than the actual Velothon, but I was actually beginning to enjoy the challenge of The Tumble. Once punctures were mended and blood had been spilt! 

You need sleep before a big ride like this and this year I was sure I was going to get a good nights sleep.  Unfortunately this was not to be.  My hotel room was right opposite the taxi rank on St Mary Street.  So from about 2am in the morning I was woken on the hour every hour by beeping taxi horns. I was knackered.  The other important consideration after sleep is sufficient nutrition in the morning.  I was quite nervous, and very tired.  Everytime I took a mouthful of my kettle boiled porridge I retched. I tried not to panic because the All Day Breakfast sandwich had done the trick last year. I peeled back the wrapper smelt the sausage (not a euphenism!) and again retched ! Oh this morning was not going well. Eventually I got myself and my bike down to the start line to meet Amanda.  

Amanda and I - me looking knackered !

Stuart, Gareth, Nick and I - BEER ! 

Team SunVelo - Dave M, Me and  Speedy Lucy

Amanda and I had started in different pens - it's a Welsh sheep thing I guess.  So we had agreed to meet up. Off I went keeping a pace that I hoped would mean she would find me easily - lots of people were passing me.  This is actually quite disheartening on a sportive.  More and more people passing you.  The colour of their bibs different to your start time bib. But no sign of Amanda.  Until about 15km she came hurtling up to me and told me to get on the back of the group she had been cycling with.  They were speedy.  I pedalled as fast as I could but there was no way I could catch them. I also realised that if I continued at this pace I was going to burn out very quickly and not have enough fuel in the tank.  We agreed to quieten the pace and cycle together.  

The Tumble was fine I actually enjoyed it.  But alas yet again by the time we got to Caerphilly Mountain at 120k I didn't have enough umph to get up the bastard thing.  So for yet another year I got off and pushed my bike for a bit. Amanda cycled it - well done Doe. I will return Caerphilly mountain and get up you - you'll see.  At one fuel station as we shared a very decadent Snickers bar - thank you Nick for the recommendation it was lush! Amanda and I pondered the question "Are we actually enjoying this?" mmmmm not sure that we are. We are enduring it. "Shall we do it again next year?" mmmmm "No!!" we agreed probably not!!! But sometimes these things are a bit like childbirth - you forget the blood sweat tears and the pain, and you go on and have other children.  It's October she has just texted me "I see Velothon is in July this year" is this a coded message?.  I think she may have forgotten the pain.  We'll see.

As I cycled the last 5k into Cardiff with the crowds cheering I must confess I burst into floods of tears.  It just came over me, a sense of relief that I had done it because 140k is quite an achievement. And it was over. Thank God. Sometimes enough is enough!  

2. My next challenge was Glastonbury......

Yes I know this is a sporty type athletic blog but actually I do liken this to a sporting challenge. Not only because I was going with my 12 year old daughter but because of the mud. This wasn't just a bit of mud, this was rivers of slippery mud. Biblical measures of the brown stuff everywhere not a blade of green grass in sight. It was hardcore.  I realised pretty early on that my imaginings of my first Glastonbury, Drugs and Rock n Roll were not to be.  In fact I had 1 red wine and 2 lagers all weekend.  Because it was a case of survival.  Being able to stand up in the mud. Stay on your feet for hours at a time and then finding your way back to your tent.  No this Glastonbury experience was about falafels and smoothies.  

HELL YEAH ! 

We had a great time. One moment of me screaming at my sobbing daughter "Stop being a princess!!" when she refused to use the toilets. But we overcame this moment and went on to watch some great bands, James, ELO, ZZ Top, Adele, Tom Odell, Ellie Goulding, Band of Skulls, Muse and so many more. She even cuddled up to me on the hill as we sat and drank hot chocolate and watched Muse.  That one moment sat together made the whole weekend for me.  Because anyone who is a mum to a 12 year old going on 15 year old girl will know that those moments can be rare.  A mushy moment. We returned to our tent united. Another restless night in the tent with the ground throbbing to the music all around us. Waking up all scrunched up near the tent divider like caterpillars, the tent was pitched on a slope. But hey we were in the family area. So at least our tent pegs weren't been shaken at night by pissed people trying to find their tent.

Georgia and I

But the event was definitely an endurance event. I used the mental process I use on a big bike ride to get me through. It was an experience. And I was very glad to get back to my proper bed and a shower. Never had I appreciated my own toilet so much and not having to permanantely walk around with a toilet roll in my pocket. 

People afterwards said that there were better festivals to goto that are smaller. Less muddy. I disagree because actually there is only one Glastonbury and nothing else can match it. It was an experience and I'm glad I've had my Glastonbury moment. And I admit that like a saddo I kept that festival wristband on for days longer than I should have done. Because it was a badge of honour I had survived.

3. Cycling in Mallorca in the summer - scorchio

Mallorca in the summer is hot.  Which means if you want to enjoy your cycling you have to get up early, before the heat turns up a notch and the coaches try and kill you on the corners. It's August and  the alarm goes off at 6am. For a split second I contemplate turning it off and going back to sleep, after all I was on holiday. But I hadn't forgone that 2nd glass of Rioja last night for nothing. As the rest of the family slept I put on my cycling shorts and crept silently (as silently as possible with cycling shoes on marble floors)  for the door.

In August it is 22 degrees at 6am. So to avoid tourists in their cars and coaches and the heat its early morning or nothing. I head this morning towards Formentour Lighthouse one of the most beautiful bike rides there is. I start the 5k climb towards the car park. It's a hard slog that first bit but it's not too hot. I pass the spot where Tom Hiddleston filmed The Night Manager, disappointingly no sign of Tom today probably on a yacht with Taylor Swift!  I'm feeling pleased with myself the climb feels ok today - not like that first time 4 years ago when I was new to road cycling.

Sunrise at Formentour

As I reach the car park I am greeted by a big red rising sun over the sea between the mountains absolutely stunning. Yes it was definitely worth forgoing the Rioja and lack of sleep. I start taking photos but a big billy goat gruff starts wandering across the car park towards me. He has big curly horns. Holy Shit Catherine ! quick get back on the bike! 

Billy Bob

Formentour Lighthouse August 2016

Anyone who has cycled in Mallorca will tell you that you have to beware of the goats skittering across the road.  All part of the charm. The next bit is a wonderful descent through the mountain. I try to enjoy the descent and not think about the way back when you have to climb this same section. I can't help it - I am making a mental note of the km markers. Yes at 7km on the way back I will have done the worst of it. That is half the battle of cycling getting your head in the right place. Today I'm in a good place I am loving being back on the Mallorcan roads with the unexpected goats and the switch backs.

I am even fully ready for the dreaded tunnel. The tunnel where in the middle it goes pitch black and you can't see a thing and begin to lose all sense of balance. Weird feeling. Today I have brought my lights - miracle I can see !!! That's better I won't let that tunnel get the better of me.

There are 3 others cycling this ride ahead of me today. So the roads are our playground - well us and the goats.  And the smell of the pine needles and the sound of the sheep and their bells, and the rising sun.  I FUCKING LOVE CYCLING. I also notice that out of cycling season everyone is friendly and says hello. I think it's because we are in on the secret. There's no-one else here. We got up didn't we ? It's just us ! It's like being a kid again - weeeeeeeee ! But yes I am the only female up here. Something that makes me feel quite proud, but also disappointed.  Come on ladies you don’t know what you’re missing!

I reach the lighthouse the goat is there chasing some German tourists for their sandwiches. Some things never change. I don't stay long, I want to get back down before the traffic starts winding its way up the hill. Off I go on my merry way. This ride fills my heart with joy. I'm out there. The views. The exhilaration of the descents. The achievement of the ascents. Good to be a cyclist alive. And actually the rest of the day I have a big smile on my face.  

Compulsory Bike on Balcony Shot

Sa Calobra Mwar Har Har

The next day I did Sa Calobra I get a real kick out of that ride, it's the ride that changed me.  It was my turning point. And every time I do that ride I remember that first time.  Rather embarrassingly I never remember to get into the right gear before I start the ascent after the long descent.  And so it was that my chain fell off in front of a load of blokes.  They sniggered.  I put the chain back on, pride wounded and started the ascent towards the grumpy man that sells the fresh Orange Juice under the arches. All good fun.

4. My first Duathlon

Smashed It !

I had agreed to take someone's place in the London Duathlon.  A very capable person. A person who is good at running.  A person who told me they were looking forward to me beating their PB.  No pressure then. So it was to be a 10k Run - 44k Bike - 5k run.Taxi.

I have never ever run more than 15k in one day.  My friends Caroline and Catherine do half marathons and I think that is amazing. Hats off to those that do Half Marathons and Marathons I really have respect for you.  And I certainly haven't done a 5k run after anything more than a 20k bike ride during Sprint Triathlons so today was going to be a new challenge.  I had the usual butterflies in the morning and the whole getting my head around "what the hell am I doing? why don't I stay in bed and drink coffee instead?" I also had the person whose place I was taking texting me a screen shot of the time they did it in last year.  I deliberately didn't put my glasses on to read it.  So I put on my tri-suit and made my way to Richmond Park for the start. What would be would be.

Richmond Park

As usual at these things everyone is really friendly.  Well I guess you could call it nervous chatter. I can chatter with the best of them.  The countdown began and we were off on the first run of 10k.  I enjoyed it, mostly at the end because I couldn't wait to get onto my bike.  And because usually I'm doing a Triathlon and the first bit is the horrid open water swim. So the next bit was cycling  4 laps around Richmond Park including up Sawyers Hill.  A sharp little uppy bit.  But I know Richmond Park well so I really enjoyed the course.  Apart from Sawyers Hill.  And not because it is a sharp uppy bit.  No it was her.  That's what spoilt it.  

That annoying woman....

Anyone will tell you that at Triathlons or long distance events the crowd really do keep you motivated and can bring a smile to your face at even the toughest of points.  But not her.  No  she was really annoying.  There she was in her Lycra. Why was she wearing sports gear to spectate.  Was it to empathise with those taking part? And she was standing just at the point on Sawyers Hill where it really starts to burn.  So there she was in her Lycra shouting "Babe - you're all amazing you're doing so well"  and "Yes Yes you can do it you're all amazing".  The first lap I forgave her.  But as I approached the ascent of Sawyers Hill the second time my heart sank, she was still there shouting profanities.  I wanted to shout "Just Fuck Off Annoying Woman !" The 3rd time I glared at her and made some sarky comment to the man cycling next to me - he laughed he thought she was a pain in the arse too.  By the fourth lap I was ready to punch her.  I asked the 3 blokes who were standing near her loudly "Is she with you?". Thank god the cycle was over I couldn't bear to hear her anymore. 

The last 5k ....and an unfortunate incident with a banana

So now came the last 5k run.  Mmmmm I really wasn't looking forward to this bit.  As I racked my bike and put my running shoes back on and started to run it was as if I'd forgotten how to run.  Couldn't really get my legs to function. Very weird feeling.  I decided to just put one foot in front of the other and eventually I would get there.  The girl in front of me was stopping frequently, she evidently felt like I did. Ready to give up. I siddled up to her "You obviously feel like I do come on we only have another 3k" and so she and I spurred each other to each new kilometer marker until the 5k marker was in our sights.  We even managed a sprint finish over the red carpet.  We hugged.  We'd made it.  I was revelling in my finish, when a woman came marching up to me and uttered words no-one has ever uttered to me "Your banana fell out in front of me!!!" I looked at her bemused she was an angry woman. "Ummm I'm sorry about that" ........she carried on "So I trod on it and squashed it!!" she seemed pleased with this act of violence and turned and stomped off.  She obviously thought we were in a cartoon where the baddy throws banana skins in the path of the enemy to trip them up.  I hadn't thrown it at her deliberately it had fallen out of my back pocket, admittedly as we had overtaken her at speed. If I'd thought about it sooner I'd have willingly thrown that banana at the Lycra shouting woman on the hill ! 

I came 11th in my age group category so I'm pretty happy with that. And actually I did rather enjoy it.

What next ?

So it's now Autumn and I need to plan some new adventures. I'm going to do the 312 Mallorca Sportive in April with a couple of friends via www.sunvelo.com.  Not the 312 route you understand no lets be realistic the smaller 167km route. I might try and run 15km all in one hit. And I definitely need to invest in a Turbo trainer so I can use my bike when the winter comes.  

Who knows what the next chapter will bring ......

Adious Amigos !