Chapter 10 - tag rugby, lighthouses and gearing

A Summary of where I'm at...

• Weeks until Triathlon = 6 (holy shit!)
• Number of Triathlons completed consequentially and sequentially = 0
• Personal Bests = not registered been ignoring stats.  But that run in Paris was awesome smashed all world records apparently!
• Successful Open Water Swims = 0
• Number of times fallen off bike with cleats = 0 (well maybe a leedle bit....)
• Money spent on equipment = a mere £55.29p (my husband reads this!)

Tag rugby not just for lesbians

So having rested on my laurels for a bit. My "popping calf" (never before heard of in medical history) had hindered me somewhat.  I decided that I once again should venture forth into the world of physical exercise.  I usually train on my own, so decided maybe some exercise with a group would be good. It's good to train with someone I've heard.

So off I trotted one Saturday morning to Twickenham Green to have a free trial fitness session.  We started warming up by throwing a rugby ball around, novel warm up session I thought, but lets get onto the squats and burpees. Forget the press ups, mine are unbelievably laughable. Maybe another thing to work on Operation DAPPUYW*

Before I knew it I was being sucked into a game of tag rugby !! WTF and it's not as if Twickenham Green is private, everyone goes past. This is humiliating some of those guys obviously had played rugby before and were really chucking the ball hard. I only did netball and hockey at school so this was all new to me.  Roll on 10 o'clock when all this would be over and hope to God no-one I know has seen me.  

I never really considered myself to be competitive but we ended up doing sprint races.  Not sure what happened but all that teenage angst came flooding back reminding me of those blonde girls at school, Nicola Constantine, Lisa Bennet and Louise Dadge who always overtook me however fast I ran. I ran as fast as I could - I wanted to win.  And so I ran - really fast. I was holding my own.  And then......my calf popped again.  I'm sure this didn't look good in front of the rest of the tag rugby team.  New girl turns up, can't catch a rugby ball for toffee and then "OW OW OW I've injured myself I'm going to stand over by the tree" - what a big girls blouse.  

So I felt I had to casually drop into conversation I'd been to TriCamp and was exhausted.  As I heard myself say the words I cringed. And someone behind me said "There was this one time in TriCamp" the phrase from American Pie. No-one's interested Catherine - go home. 

There was this one time in band camp...

I've not been back, not sure tag rugby is conducive to a successful Triathlon training schedule anyway.  I did see them all on The Green the other Saturday on the way to get all-butter croissants and pork pies from Sainsbury's - head down, walk quickly. Maybe limp a little just to show you're properly injured.

Back to Mallorca. Don't forget your pedals and they drive on the right in Spain and something about gears ?

There were several areas still left uncovered by my last trip to Mallorca.  The run up to the lighthouse and swimming in the sea with my wetsuit. I was determined to rectify this situation. And I wanted another go on that bike - I was addicted.  So on our Easter family holiday I took by Tri-Bag (only available in green) packed with equipment. Pedals - yes Gareth Parry don't forget your pedals. Bike Shoes. Wetsuit. Trainers. Lots of Lycra.

The Open Water Swim

Does my head look big in this wetsuit ?

Ummmmm yes ! So everyone else was on the beach in their swimsuits it was quite hot. Actually, they were also in the sea with their swimsuits, it wasn't that cold. I put my wetsuit on, swimming hat and goggles, I too was now quite hot - not in a good way.  Looking like a professional - professional what I don't know. People are looking - not least our friend Gareth who is expecting great things from me. I scanned the bay - yep no problem I would swim across to the next jetty. In I go.  Blimey having grasped breathing as per Operation BAFCO** the wetsuit was strangulating me and making me bob around like a harpooned seal I felt dizzy.  So just off from the beach I bobbed, and spluttered and honestly thought I was going to faint. I tried a couple of strokes but it just wasn't coming together.  Moving my head from side to side was just making me feel nauseous- is my wetsuit too tight ? Was this sea sickness ? Had I been bitten and infected by a sea flea ? All plausible explanations.

Gareth, my husband Matt, Louise, and 5 children all looked on slightly bemused - but bless them they didn't laugh - which quite frankly they should have done. I would have! Maybe they did later. I felt utterly ridiculous. Someone once asked me if my children were proud of me doing all this. I think at this precise moment my children were mortified about this exhibition their mother was making of herself and would have quite happily buried me in the sand! It could be worse I could be making them visit National Trust properties like my parents did.

LESSONS:-

I really need to just get used to being in the sea in my wetsuit first and forget any attempt at swimming. Can I practice this in the bath ? - or in a paddling pool in the back garden as the triathlon magazines recommend. That was the first and last time I used my wetsuit on this trip.  Operation SWISH*** needs work.

The Bike Ride

I managed a couple of rides in Mallorca with THAT lovely road bike.  This was actually quite fraught.  Having borrowed the SunVelo bike for TriCamp I now felt quite confident on it, except when I had to ride it in front of it's owner. Ouch. This was going to be excrutiating. Several things happened in front of Dave from SunVelo that hadn't happened at TriCamp.

I turned up for my ride. I thought I'd done really well I had all the kit on. Proper cycling top with back pockets, cleated shoes and cycling shoes.  But No! there was another rule I'd forgotten. I was instructed to take off immediately the visor from my helmet.

Donkey, Mule or just an Ass ?

So there was a certain amount of pressure to ride the bike properly, and look like I knew what I was doing on this very expensive small hobbit bike. I felt like I was doing my cycling profeciency test all over again. Several times Dave seemed exasperated with the sound of his very expensive gears being clonked around. He tried to explain the big cog and little cog but I think this is rather like a girls understanding of the offside rule - "Nice Poppies" I pointed out in an effort to change the subject. And so whilst I was busy shifting willy nilly through the whole raft of gears the chain came off.  Marvelous. Me:-  "Alright! Alright! I know -  gears - big cogs - little cogs".  Off we went to the beach to put up a SunVelo poster - apparently I was the ideal poster mule with my backpack on. Not sure Dave would be seen dead with a back pack on so I had my uses.(Not quite weaned myself off the backpack not pro I know Danny Russell).  

And as we arrived at the beach the other thing happened. We stopped - I began to fall sideways still attached to the bike. Damn it not now of all times! Me:- "I don't know how that just happened my legs are a bit wobbly". Look of dis-believement. Yep she's a fuckwit I think is what Dave thought!  I didn't mention that on my way over to meet him I found myself on a roundabout face to face with a car coming the other way. He didn't need to know that bit.

I did also manage a ride up to the Formentor car park early one morning. Top tip don't loiter by the sign too long you'll never get away.  Several times I tried to cycle back down the hill.  And several times German cyclists proffered their iphone and asked "Can you take zee foto of my bike and zee sign? and now vith mine friend - and now just me and now my friend wants a foto of him with zee sign" By this time another 40 cyclists had made it up the hill.  Quick cycle home now if they all want a photo you'll never get home. I did give myself the fear on the way back down. I made the fatal mistake of looking over the edge. Bit more squeezing of the brakes and don't look over the edge.

Me and zee bike that has small cogs and big cogs.

LESSONS:-

1. The Spanish drive on the other side of the road.

2. Always bring your pedals eh Gareth ?

3. Something about big cogs and little cogs

4. Don't wear a visor

5. Don't think you can race Dave up a hill he will beat you.

The Run 

Thelma and Louise at the top

I had promised myself after my epic failure to complete the mini triathlon at TriCamp that I would run up to the Formentor lighthouse.  Louise who was also on holiday with us is a keen runner agreed to come along.  We've been on many holiday's with Louise and she always starts the day with the words "Shall I go for a run today?" and sometimes she has actually gone on a run! Today she definitely did.  Bit of bitching from her at the beginning about it being uphill - no shit Sherlock.  I waited for her at the top (tee hee) but as she told me several times in the car on the way back down and over G&Ts at the Illa D'Or- she could probably beat me over longer distances. And indeed I think she is probably right - today she has completed a half marathon - something I can't ever imagine doing.  But glad I made it to the top - amazing view.

LESSONs:

1. It's uphill to the lighthouse but it's worth it for the view.

2. Louise will be beat me over a longer distance - this will never be tested I can assure you.

NEXT CHAPTER....

In chapter 11 - who knows what's going to happen in the next 6 weeks? A sea swim at May bank holiday in the UK maybe ?

*DAPPUYW - Do A Proper Push Up You Wuss
**BAFCO = Breathing and Front Crawl Only
***SWISH = Swim With In Suit Happily (I know this acronym doesn't make sense but I wanted Swish so I'm having it!)

All content strictly copyright Catherine Jevans 2014.