Chapter 13 Losing my tri-virginity

T time !

So the day I was to lose my tri-virginity had finally arrived - Saturday 7th June 2014. I wasn't wearing a Laura Ashley ball gown this time either! I hadn't really slept that much as I just wanted to get on and do it. It hadn't helped that the last facebook message I had read before going to bed was this on my Triclub timeline...."Apparently the weather tomorrow is going to be epically bad. Flood warnings and thunder. I assume if there is lightening they close the lake? " Marvelous that was reassuring. Yep and sure enough when I awoke it was absolutely tipping down with rain - lovely weather for ducks as they say. On the upside I wouldn't be getting too dehydrated I guess. 

Bag packed ready to go - banana skin in case of emergency

We packed the car....eventually - various to-ing and fro-ing with children's spare clothing wasn't helping my frayed nerves. Bet the Brownlee brothers don't have that fiasco before a race. Seeing beautiful Bailey the bike strapped to the back of the car in the pouring rain felt wrong too. I'd have had the seats down and it wrapped in a blanket, but that would mean leaving the kids at home alone with a packet of Oreos and some Monster Munch and I think that's illegal.  

Squidgy Stickers

LESSONS LEARNT
There are things you learn as you go along. And some things I fear I will never learn!. Don't stick your race number to your bike before the race. Especially if its not wrapped in a blanket in the back of the car but exposed cruelly to the elements on a rack. And especially if it's pouring with rain. Because by the time you get to the event your race number is peeling off, if it hasn't already slid off onto the motorway 5 miles back.  By the time we got to Blenheim it was torrential rain so we were soaked before we had even started. My support crew Matt, Georgia and Max looked dead chuffed to be spectating in the rain. My daughter Georgia  suggested they would be cheering me on from the inside of a cafe.  One of her many helpful comments that morning.

My brother was already doing his Sprint in the pouring rain. Poor sod it really wasn't very nice. My nerves were really starting to kick in, I just wanted to get to the transition area and sort my kit out and rack my bike. (oh yeah baby I've got the terminology now).

READY....

I made it to the transition area 2 hours before the swim!! But in my defence while this may seem premature, it did give me plenty of time to accustom myself with the swim, bike and run exits and ins - here, here and here. And also the views were quite spectacular and the surrounding countryside was nice too!
I put my wetsuit on - I was identified as a virgin immediately as a kind gentleman suggested I pulled the back of my wetsuit to enable zippage. Thank you very much. I also for the first time in my life had to ask a strange man if I could borrow his baby oil. In fact for the record I've never asked ANY man strange or familiar to borrow his baby oil.  Anyway....I'd chickened out of buying lube at the local pharmacy before school pick up so had brought along a tin of vaseline.  With nerves and pissing down rain I couldn't get the blasted lid off to lubricate my neck, ankles and wrists. So I swallowed my pride and made the odd request. I tried not to over indulge lest I slip my way along the transition matting like an oily fish. Awkward. I was now swim ready. FYI for those who are triathlon virgins (unlike myself) I wore my trisuit under my wetsuit - and no, no knickers, but a sports bra.  Always good to share - see not afraid to answer those awkward questions. Anyway.... 

The Swim - 750m open lake - time taken 16.20mins

Brother and I with crew - before swim - gulp!

Ahhh look at the mummy duck with her 6 little fluffy chicks swimming in the lake. Actually don't! because if you look along the bank you will notice there are no Donald or Jemima toilet blocks in existence. Because the lake is not only their playground it's their toilet too. Naayce. I stood by the lake with my race category.  That sounds super fast doesn't it? yes well I was with 170 other middle aged women in wetsuits. Some of those wetsuit zips were positively industrial. And yes the thought was occurring to me about some of them that if they swim over the top of me I WILL drown. We gathered into our pen with our very fetching green swim caps to be briefed. Some women started crying which is not just about the hormone levels within this age group category- they were just bloody scared! I was telling myself - it's just a lovely swim across a lake on a summers day. And I had a tune to sing in my head when the going got tough "Things can only get better" by D'ream. 

I'm the one in the green swimming cap.

We all got in - nervous giggling, and gasps of how cold it was, it was 18 degrees for the record, and then we were off. Nothing actually prepares for you for the thrashing sound of 170 women splashing frantically around you.  I could feel myself panicking. I did the cardinal sin I resorted to breast stroke for a couple of strokes just to keep my head above water. Then I tried front crawl with my head above water, but I started to get dizzy.  I was getting nowhere fast and it felt terrible.  I looked over at one of the canoeists - I'm just going to swim over to him and ask him to get me out, I can't do this, it was fright or flight and fright was definitely winning. And then I thought about all the people who had wished me good luck on facebook and all the people who had been reading this blog. How could I tell them I didn't even do it - I failed within the first 5 minutes? All this nonsense only to fail at the first hurdle. I hadn't even kept any of the Sigma Sport till receipts to take all the stuff back. I looked at the big inflatable at the end of the lake and I figured the easiest and quickest way to get this over and done with was..... to swim properly - I could do this. Starts singing in head "Walk my path, you can wear my shoes, learn to tawk lake me and be an angel too, things can only get better, only get, can only get, only get better, can only get only get, can only get better - saxophone bit - I sometimes lose myself in me, I lose track of time and I can't see the wood from the trees." and then before I knew it I was crawling on all fours up the bank, I mean walking out of the lake like Ursula Andress. No I WAS on all fours gasping. But bloody hell the worst bit was over. Not since I went up Sa Calobra on my bike had I felt such a sense of achievement. Now all I had to do was get on the lovely bike for 20k.

If that giant duck doesn't give you nightmares I don't know what will

Transition 1 - Out of Wetsuit, into socks, cycling shoes, onto bike.  And time for some fuel. 

I'm Alive ! High Five ! 

They taught transition techniques at TriCamp to get a really speedy time.  I wasn't about winning I was about finishing.  So I took my time in T1.  All 7 minutes 29 seconds. Chatting away, folding my wetsuit, gagging on gels. Yes gagging on gels. OMG I'd never had a gel before, probably a mistake not to try something you are going to eat during a race.  I took one mouthful and started gagging quite loudly in the transition area. "Oh my god" I shouted to anyone who was listening. (No-one they were all looking at their PBs) "these are absolutely disgusting". Shit - I'm relying on these to fuel me around the next bit. I tried another mouthful, something about the texture the taste - bleurgh heave yuk.  Right - better get on the bike, I had some energy drink on my bike.

The Bike Ride - 20k - time taken 45mins 19 seconds.

The next bit was fab, on the lovely bike off I went. A chance to take the weight off, sit back, relax, drink and eat my boiled sweet. The boiled sweet like the ones you get in hotel receptions in my mind made everything seem normal like a sunday afternoon bike ride in the park. Actually it also took away the taste of pond life from my mouth! No sweat. Everything was going well until I was going up a hill and the chain came off! "Bugger" I got off the bike. "My chain came off!" I said to the passing cyclists.  Ahh yes - there was not a catch chance that any of these triathletes were going to stop and help me today - they all seemed to be on a mission. I was going to have to get my hands dirty and put it back on myself - or it's game over. Luckily I'm not a complete fuckwit so I did it and it worked - off I went again. Bit faster this time cos that woman in the pink cycling shorts had now overtaken me. And it was lovely seeing Matt, Georgia, Max my brother Mat and nephew Luke cheering me on at the corner. I was actually doing this, and it felt quite fast.

Yes I know my helmet looks like a bonnet!

After 3 laps around the lake I approached transition. I wasn't going to be so slovenly this time at transition. I began to take my helmet off - "NO! STOP! DON"T TAKE YOUR HELMET OFF OR YOU"RE DISQUALIFIED" a woman shouted at me. Another lesson learned - don't take your helmet off until you get into transition or you're disqualified. Phew that was close. That's 3 lives I've nearly used!

Transition 2 - Bike to Run. 

Helmet off, bike racked. Cycling shoes off, running shoes on. Slurp of water off we go.

The Run - 5.6k - time taken 30mins 37 seconds.

On the home straight

Off down the matting I ran. A lot of this triathlon lark in fact any sporting challenge is about state of mind. I decided to tell myself it was just a normal 5.6k run around a park, forget that you've just done the other 2 activities.  By now the sun had come out and it was feeling quite hot. The run was definitely sorting the men from the boys, people were now really tiring. Which actually was good for me pyschologically as every person I passed felt like a major victory and spurred me on. When I reached my support crew my daughter ever encouraging me on shouted loudly "you need to brush your hair mummy it's a mess" yep that's what they shout to Paula Radcliffe I'm sure. I also overheard a rather overweight specatator turn to his wife and say disappointedly "I thought they'd be much faster" - I turned and glared at him, I wanted to shout "You bloody come and do this then !!".  But everyone cheering you on really does wonders for the spirit, it was such a great atmosphere.  I did find the need to interact with everyone I met - perhaps less chatter, high fiving and jokes next time and I might improve on my times! The finish line was in sight - I found energy from somewhere and went for a sprint finish. Which I have to say I was pretty impressed with. When I told TriCamp Nick Dunn current World Champion my performance - he suggested that if I'd managed to do a sprint finish it meant I hadn't run hard enough for the rest of the run. That put me in my transition box!! 

Results:- Total time taken to lose virginity 1hour 42secs
Well I haven't really been logging my times I wasn't really bothered. But when the results came out, that was a whole different matter. Suddenly it's a numbers game and I'm cutting it anyway I can to get a good result. I got some string, some new non dried out felt tips and a piece of paper. So times as follows:- 

750m Swim:- 16mins 20 seconds. 
Transition1:-   7mins 29 seconds.
20k Bike:- 45mins 19 seconds
Transition2:- 2mins 30 seconds
5.6k Run:- 30mins 37 seconds.

I came 48th overall out of 170 in my age group category. 52nd/170 for the swim, 46th/170 on the bike and 37th/170 on the run.  For my first transition I was definitely left way behind I was 141st/170. That wetsuit really is a bugger to get off !! Yep yep oh what did my brother do it in ? Oh that.....1hour 34mins.  And I have to say the conditions for him were horrible. So big respect.  But there is room for me to improve !! Watch Out little brother ! 

What's next...

Well I've got the bug. I heard somewhere, I can't remember where, that only 7% of people who do their first triathlon DON'T go on to do another one. Well I'm hooked I've booked another 4 for the rest of the year.  I need to improve on my PBs. Oh No - I've become that woman in the changing room from Chapter 4.  

Thank you so much to everyone who has encouraged me on my endeavours this year, and allowed me to become a Tri-bore and especially to those who got me into this fine mess in the first place! 

Finally what really made my day was when my 9 year old son Max turned to me in the car on the way home and said "Mummy, do you know what ? I was so proud of you today". 

Max, Me and Georgia - it's over !

All content strictly copyright Catherine Jevans 2014.